Nice quiet day with thoughts

I had another crappy night last night.  I couldn't sleep however I also re-programmed my phone last night so slightly constructive.

I was very low last night.  Guess not being well, the lonelyness and the bad news yesterday don't help things.
I feel guilty about my Grandfather passing away.  I haven't been in touch at all over the last couple of years.  I had meant to phone them this period, but with hospital admission I didn't make time.
Death is a strange subject.  I guess with losing friends through CF I have come to expect it.  But never sure how I should react to it.

I sent a text to N last night, asking if she was ok.  She said not as her DO had taken the day off work.  Seems strange, 1 month into a relationship and they are not having a nice day off together.  I hope they are ok, and sort themselves out for the best.  I was hoping to speak to her last night as I needed a close friend.  but nothing.  I have had two texts today from her so she didn't bother reading any message from me till 16 hours after I sent it.
I guess it shows that whilst I hold her in the highest regard and would do anything for her, the feelings are not reflected in the slightest.  Shows that I'm a muppet for thinking that I am important to her.

I'm still very tired from hospital so having a lazy day today.  I'm sat in front of Star Trek box set in dressing gown.  All my washing is almost done.  Looking forward to a nice meal out tonight with some good friends.