I had another crappy night last night. I couldn't sleep however I also re-programmed my phone last night so slightly constructive.
I was very low last night. Guess not being well, the lonelyness and the bad news yesterday don't help things.
I feel guilty about my Grandfather passing away. I haven't been in touch at all over the last couple of years. I had meant to phone them this period, but with hospital admission I didn't make time.
Death is a strange subject. I guess with losing friends through CF I have come to expect it. But never sure how I should react to it.
I sent a text to N last night, asking if she was ok. She said not as her DO had taken the day off work. Seems strange, 1 month into a relationship and they are not having a nice day off together. I hope they are ok, and sort themselves out for the best. I was hoping to speak to her last night as I needed a close friend. but nothing. I have had two texts today from her so she didn't bother reading any message from me till 16 hours after I sent it.
I guess it shows that whilst I hold her in the highest regard and would do anything for her, the feelings are not reflected in the slightest. Shows that I'm a muppet for thinking that I am important to her.
I'm still very tired from hospital so having a lazy day today. I'm sat in front of Star Trek box set in dressing gown. All my washing is almost done. Looking forward to a nice meal out tonight with some good friends.
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Friday, January 06, 2012
Release from Hospital
OK. Didn't update this yesterday.
I had been chatting to N again the night before. She said that I can no longer speak to her at night time, as this is upsetting C. He is a cock. She is practically living with him. He is giving her hassle for me being in her life. Ah well.
As I previously said I have been in hospital for 2 weeks. The doc's said I could go home depending on my blows (Lung function test). I did them, and they were drastically improved but still someway off my usual. Didn't see the docs after that until Thursday late morning. The docs came round and said either stay in for another week or go home. As I felt 1000 times better than the previous week I think it is time to go home. So good stuff I can go home, on steriods and oral antibitotics. So I asked the ward staff for Sick note and TTA's. Usual ward clark did her usual shitty job of not wanting to do anything, I had to ask her 4 times for sick note. She was more interested in gassing with her mates as usual.
My old psycologist came to visit whilst I was waiting for stuff's. Had a nice chat with her, explained about relationship with N, and latest developments with EW.
Eventually left the hospital, it was extremely nice to leave hospital and not be on IV's. Did shopping and then back home.
Back home cats had done a Pooh on the carpet, plus obviously have taken to weeing by the front door. Grrrr. Was going to go and get a takeway, when I went to collect parcels. But was to tired, and not particularly hungry. Sat down watched some stuff on new TV, played on XBOX and then went to bed about 9:30. I put my new Star Trek Voyager DVD on TV, started to drift off but then woke up. Couldn't sleep after that. I remember hearing one of the cats scratching a door about 4am, went down she had wee'd on the carpet, so gave her a slap and booted her out.
Must have been about 5am before I slept :( woke up about 9:30, phone didn't work and a massive headache.
Grabbed new parcels, set up small hub next to TV. Now bored. Still got a headache and I'm tired, but fancy doing something. The house is a bomb site. Need to clean up, remove boxes and clean up cat wee.
Haven't heard from N last night or today. I do worry about her. I shouldn't as she has made it clear she doesn't want to be with me, however she never leaves my thoughts. At the moment, it feels like I am always contacting her and the contact is not reciprocated. So I will try hard not to speak to her. This will be hard, as if I haven't heard from her before 5pm I will not hear from her till next week (probably if I contact her).
I really need to make sure I meet somebody new in 2012. Need to get my thoughts towards somebody who will appreciate them.
I had been chatting to N again the night before. She said that I can no longer speak to her at night time, as this is upsetting C. He is a cock. She is practically living with him. He is giving her hassle for me being in her life. Ah well.
As I previously said I have been in hospital for 2 weeks. The doc's said I could go home depending on my blows (Lung function test). I did them, and they were drastically improved but still someway off my usual. Didn't see the docs after that until Thursday late morning. The docs came round and said either stay in for another week or go home. As I felt 1000 times better than the previous week I think it is time to go home. So good stuff I can go home, on steriods and oral antibitotics. So I asked the ward staff for Sick note and TTA's. Usual ward clark did her usual shitty job of not wanting to do anything, I had to ask her 4 times for sick note. She was more interested in gassing with her mates as usual.
My old psycologist came to visit whilst I was waiting for stuff's. Had a nice chat with her, explained about relationship with N, and latest developments with EW.
Eventually left the hospital, it was extremely nice to leave hospital and not be on IV's. Did shopping and then back home.
Back home cats had done a Pooh on the carpet, plus obviously have taken to weeing by the front door. Grrrr. Was going to go and get a takeway, when I went to collect parcels. But was to tired, and not particularly hungry. Sat down watched some stuff on new TV, played on XBOX and then went to bed about 9:30. I put my new Star Trek Voyager DVD on TV, started to drift off but then woke up. Couldn't sleep after that. I remember hearing one of the cats scratching a door about 4am, went down she had wee'd on the carpet, so gave her a slap and booted her out.
Must have been about 5am before I slept :( woke up about 9:30, phone didn't work and a massive headache.
Grabbed new parcels, set up small hub next to TV. Now bored. Still got a headache and I'm tired, but fancy doing something. The house is a bomb site. Need to clean up, remove boxes and clean up cat wee.
Haven't heard from N last night or today. I do worry about her. I shouldn't as she has made it clear she doesn't want to be with me, however she never leaves my thoughts. At the moment, it feels like I am always contacting her and the contact is not reciprocated. So I will try hard not to speak to her. This will be hard, as if I haven't heard from her before 5pm I will not hear from her till next week (probably if I contact her).
I really need to make sure I meet somebody new in 2012. Need to get my thoughts towards somebody who will appreciate them.
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